


I will always be there for you, brother

by someone_worth_racing_for



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Carlos and Lando are adoptive brothers, Carlos is the perfect older brother, Carlos is there for Lando, From friends to lovers, Healing, It's really not at all!, Lando and their parents have a car accident, Lando finds himself a new friend, M/M, Nico being a suportive boyfriend, Nico saying out loud what we were all thinking, Their parents die and Lando is hurt very badly, dealing with death, many tears and fears, the second chapter isn't in such a dark place, this isn't a kinky story, this story here is my baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23719549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someone_worth_racing_for/pseuds/someone_worth_racing_for
Summary: This story here is my baby.Please be kind, even when I know it's very hard to read..
Relationships: Carlos Sainz Jr & Lando Norris, Carlos Sainz Jr/Nico Hulkenberg, Lando Norris & Nico Hulkenberg, Lando Norris/Sacha Fenestraz
Comments: 20
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story here is my baby.
> 
> Please be kind, even when I know it's very hard to read..

Lando was with them when they had the accident. When their adoptive parents and his thirteen-year-old adoptive brother had that car accident. At that time, Carlos was by his boyfriend’s place and actually he should have been with them, be by their sides when it happened, when they had needed him the most, but instead he was all safe and healthy, and he didn’t have a clue about what had just happened and that his life will change forever on that spring afternoon.

Carlos was relieved that Nico was by his side, when he got that phone call. A woman had told him that his parents and brother had a car accident and he should come to the hospital. Quickly, very quickly even. Carlos had always thought that he wouldn’t panic in such a situation. That he would stay all calm and will keep a cool head, but that really wasn’t the case.

He couldn’t do anything except panicking and forming already the worst scenarios inside his head, while Nico drove them both as fast as possible to the hospital the woman had told the German, after Carlos had handled the phone over into his hands, because he couldn’t focus on her words any more.

By the time they had got to the hospital, his dad had already passed away. Carlos didn’t remember much about that moment only that his knees had boycotted his body weight and he saw black for a brief moment. Nico had caught him and while he was in the safety of his boyfriend’s arms, he asked with a broken voice about his mother and brother.

The doctor told him that Lando was hurt very badly, he was in artificial deep sleep, but he was stable. In contrast to his mother. It was more than just serious and if he wanted to see her one last time, to say goodbye to her, he should go to her first. So Carlos did, even when it felt horrible to choose between his mother and brother.

To see his mother like that, all the wounds, blood and machines around her, her lifeless body, it was like someone did sting a knife right into his heart. Still being shocked to his bones, he was holding onto her hand, while tears were rushing down his cheeks like little rivers. She died while he was holding her hand, taking her into his arms for one more time, while her heart was beating one last time.

Carlos was kissing her cheek and moved his hand through her soft hair, while he told her one last time how much he did love her. He thanked her for all the love he had got from her over the years, for her patience, for his carefree childhood and that he always had her back his whole life long.

They also let Carlos see his father for one last time. He did look the same horrible way like his mother, not like his dad at all. Carlos also kissed the top of his head, while he said one last goodbye and thanked him for everything he had ever done for him.

He thanked him for getting adopted, to be that lucky to have such great parents, that his dad was such a great role model for him all the time and he also thanked him for everything he had ever caught him.

Carlos had to go then. Nico helped him to get out of the room, to let their parents behind and together they followed the nurse to where Lando was laying inside this way too big looking bed.

He also looked very bad, but they had already cleaned most of the blood and dirt away from his face. But still there were deep, opened wounds all over his small body and cute face. Nothing on him remembered about the sweet, young, unconcerned, funny boy any more.

His little brother seemed so helpless in this bright, white room. His skin all pale, he looked so ill. Little Lando was simply lost and looked so out of place. He didn’t belong into here. He should be at home, playing soccer with their father in their garden, while mum was watching them with her usual lovingly smile on her lips. The air would be filled with his little brother’s happy giggles, after dad had let him make a goal once again. Yes, it should have been this way.

But instead of Lando’s sweet, so contagious giggles, there were these machines audible, making that one horrible sound. And also these tubes everywhere around his small body, keeping him alive. And even when the machine’s noises was so annoying, Carlos was constantly afraid about them to stop. Because he exactly knew that if that will happen, he will lose his baby brother as well.

The whole night long Carlos was sitting right next to Lando’s bed and was holding his cold hand. He told him to keep strong, to keep fighting. Begged him to stay with him and to not let him alone as well. He exactly knew he wasn’t able to make it without him. Lando was all he had left.

All the older one could do was holding his hand, kissing his fingers, moving his hand through his curls and stroking his so pale looking cheeks. That night he thought a lot, about everything and nothing. About life in general, about death, about the reason of living. And his reason of living was laying right in front of him at the moment. Lando.

But especially Carlos thought about the great childhood they had got. Carlos could still exactly remember about the first few years of his life, he had spent in the orphanage. He was alright there, had everything he needed, had got tread well, but still like all the other kids inside there, he had dreamed about getting adopted.

And suddenly one day it was said, that a young couple was interested in him and wanted to get to know him. Of course, Carlos had showed himself from his best side the day he had met his future parents for the first time. They were almost like he had always imagined his adoptive parents to be, but only that they were even better.

They were very kind, had seemed to be really interested in him, had talked almost the whole afternoon with him together and had even gone with him to the playground. Already by their second meeting they had told him that they would like to adopt him, if he was okay with it and wanted to be their son.

Carlos had never thought he would get that lucky to find such nice and caring parents one day, who hadn’t only wanted him to be their son, but who had even asked him if he wanted the same and all he could answer was nodding his head wildly in agreement and falling crying into their arms.

But his day had got even better, when he got told about that his future parents also wanted to adopt another child. A little boy called Lando. He was still in another orphanage, but by their next meeting, Carlos had seen his future brother for the first time and he had also got to know him.

Carlos hadn’t only get perfect parents, he had also got a very sweet baby brother. He hadn’t known how he deserved this all, but he couldn’t be any happier. Lando was five years younger than himself, he was three years old by that time and a very, very shy kid. But Carlos really liked that little boy and had closed him into his heart as quickly as their future parents.

Lando had got moved into the same orphanage as Carlos, so the two brothers could get to know each other better and form a relationship. The little boy was still very unsure around Carlos, didn’t talk much, but in the first night they had spent under the same roof, Lando was standing next to his bed in the middle of the night suddenly.

Barefoot in his way too big looking pyjama and with his stuffed animal in his hand, he had looked at him with glassy eyes and sucked all nervously onto his dummy. Lando had been scared, scared about his new home, his future, everyone new around him, just everything.

Carlos had pulled him up into his bed that night, hugged him close and stroked his tiny head, till he had finally fallen asleep. The older one had been touched about the trust his little brother had already given him back then. Lando could have gone to any of their educator, but instead he had searched comfort by his older brother.

The next morning Carlos had woken up with Lando being still fast asleep and all cuddled up next to him. It had been a little strange and sweet at the same time, because the little boy had buried his hands deep inside his dark brown hair and moved slowly through his hair strains in his sleep.

With time Carlos got to know that whenever Lando was scared, nervous or uncomfortable it was his habit to do that. It did soothe him, so Carlos was alright with it, he was touched even, because he was only doing so by someone he did trust enough for it.

By the day the two of them were finally allowed to come together with their parents at their new home, they had already become friends and weren’t able to get separated any more. The strong bond they had formed was one between brothers and it had only become stronger through the years.

They had a great, carefree childhood with their new parents. Lando and Carlos were both loved so much by their parents and they loved and trusted them back fully. Carlos had always wanted a baby brother and Lando was just perfect in every way.

They had even got a room on their own each, something they didn’t have till that day. But even when it was more than just great to have a room on your own, Lando still crawled into his older brother’s bed almost every night in the first time. Carlos would never complain about that, he was just too happy for that.

Lando was such a sweet toddler, actually he had never stopped, he was still the cutest little boy Carlos had ever got to know. Lando was an uncomplicated child, he had never made any problems, was never too cheeky or disobedience. Everyone just loved him and his older brother was his biggest fan.

Carlos could still remember every of their Birthdays, Christmas, their holidays. He could remember about the hot summers, where they have run and jumped through the water of the lawn sprinkler in their garden. About the cold winters where they had gone toboggan onto the fields near to their house.

Carlos could also still remember about all the times he had protected his baby brother from nasty schoolmates, how scared Lando had always got when there was a storm outside, when he had to comfort him, after he had hurt himself and how big his smile was when they were drawing together and Carlos praised him for doing so well.

How damn happy Carlos had been with his life back then.

The older one had always wanted to have a little sibling. He did fuss over and was also very protective to many of the other kids in the orphanage, but it wasn’t the same. But now he finally had a brother and he had promised himself that day he had seen Lando for the first time, that he will protect his baby brother with his life.

Back into reality, Carlos had somehow managed to fall asleep, when the exhausting got the upper hand over his body and he fell asleep on the chair next to the bed his little brother was still laying all lifeless inside. Carlos’ upper body rested on top of the mattress and he was still holding Lando’s hand tightly.

He only woke up when Nico entered the room, after he had let the two of them alone for some time. The German forced his boyfriend to drink something and he had suggested him to get over to the small couch in the corner and lay down to get some rest. Only for him, Carlos took some sips from the water, even when he had much trouble to keep it in, but he refused to rest. He wanted to be there for his baby brother.

Carlos even prayed, something he hadn’t that in his life until then. He prayed for his little brother, for their parents and that everything will be good again somehow. He prayed for a wonder.

Lando was already asleep for over 48 hours and Carlos was still sitting right next to him, when he made a decision. He took his little brother’s hand tight into his and stroked with his thumb lovingly over his fingers, when he whispered “Lando? Sweetheart, can you hear me?”

Of course, he didn’t answer, squeezed his hand in return or anything like that. Lando was just lying there like a lifeless doll on top of the bed, with his eyes closed and his skin as pale as the older one had never seen it before. But still Carlos went on speaking quietly and slowly.

“I don’t know if you can listen to me, sweetheart, but I just wanted to tell you that if it hurts too much, if you can’t keep on any more, you can let go. Or if you want to be with mum and dad, you can go to them. I won’t be mad at you, I promise, sweetheart. It’s okay. You can let go.”

Carlos meant every word he had just said, but still silent tears were running down his face and fell onto Lando’s hand he was still holding. He didn’t want to see his baby brother in pain and he also didn’t want to take him away from their parents, when he wanted to stay next to them so badly. Lando shouldn’t have to stay only for him, even when Carlos didn’t know what he should do without him.

Just moments after Carlos had whispered so, the machines next to the bed began to beep that blood-freezing tone and he only had to look at them for one brief moment to know that Lando had made his decision.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. It won’t hurt, I promise. I love you so much, Lando.” Carlos whispered, after he had set himself onto the mattress right next to his brother’s lifeless body, took his cold hand against his own chest and stroked through his sweet curls for one last time.

Nico, who had been sitting on the chair in the corner the whole time long, had already run outside onto the corridor to call for a doctor. “Greet our parents for me. One day we will all meet again. Goodbye, sweetheart. I won’t ever forget you.”

After Carlos had kissed his forehead long and looked at his sweet face for one last time, to remember about every detail till they will see each other again one day, some nurses and a doctor had rushed into the room. Nico pulled his boyfriend quickly away from the bed and in the safety of his arms.

Shocked the couple could only watch them doing their work, while this horrible sound echoed through the room. Within seconds, even when it felt like a half eternity for Carlos, they pushed Lando still laying on the bed out of the room and disappeared.

“Goodbye, sweetheart. Goodbye. I love you.” Carlos still whispered, even when Lando was already on the way into the next operating room. Nico could hear him, could hear his final goodbye to his little brother and the only thing he could do was taking him tighter against his chest.

Carlos did cry his eyes and heart out, while he held himself onto his boyfriend’s shirt. Deep sobs caused his body to shake, while he already tried to remember Lando’s face, his eyes, his smile. What if he will forget about it all one day? What if he will forget about how his laugh did sound? What if he will forget about his voice?

“I told him he could go to mum and dad if he wanted, that he could let go if it hurts too much, but.. I don’t want him to go, Nico. I don’t want to lose him too. I just can’t lose him. He is all I have.”

Carlos had actually thought that he had already spent all the tears he had inside his body during the last days, but he was wrong. As bitterly as the hours after Lando was gone, he had never cried in his life before. And still, no one had told him that he had passed away yet.

Why did they let themselves so long time to finally tell it to him? So he will finally know it was all true. That he had found his peace and was together with their parents again. That his sweet baby brother was dead.

Finally, a doctor come inside where Carlos was still crying in Nico’s arms and stopped in front of them, looking down at the couple with an unreadable expression. Carlos really couldn’t believe his hears, when the doctor told him that it was very close, but his little brother was a fighter. Lando was alive, he was stronger.

And he had really made his decision. Lando wanted to stay by his brother.

Now it were tears of happiness rushing down Carlos cheeks and he didn’t know himself how his own body was able to withstand all these feelings of the last days. “Can I see him?” Carlos asked with a shaking, unstable voice. When the doctor nodded his head, he gave the two young men a smile, before he leaded them to Lando.

Carlos didn’t care about how distorted his brother was looking, all that mattered was that he was alive, still by his side. “Lando, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you. You are a fighter and so strong.” The older brother whispered down to him, after he had taken his cold hand into his and smiled, even when teardrops fell all the way down onto his lifeless body.

“Thank you so much for not leaving me. I just need you, you are my everything. I will do everything to give you a good life, I will take good care of you every day, for the rest of my life. I promise you, sweetheart. I will give everything I have. I will always protect you from now on, nothing will ever happen to you again.”

Lando was asleep for three more days. During that time Carlos had to signature some documents. About their parent’s funeral, something from the insurance and finally also from the social security. He was of legal age, had turned eighteen just two months ago and could take the custody of his little brother. If he survived.

Carlos could only barely remember about these three endless days. Nico was always by his side and helped him wherever he could. Without him he wouldn’t have made it, he exactly knew that. The two brothers didn’t have really close relatives and even less who cared about them.

During these days Carlos talked much to his little brother, but only about positive things. He told him stories about their childhood, even when Lando did probably remember most of them himself. The older one had to smile to himself, while he thought about all these memories and spoke them out loud, but at the same time he was crying silent tears, because he exactly knew that nothing will ever be the same again.

When he ran out of stories he could tell his little brother, Carlos sang quietly some lullabies to him their mother had always sung when they were little. It did hurt, like all the other memories, but maybe it did help Lando to get through the pain and finally wake up again.

On the evening of the sixth day of Lando being in artificial deep sleep, he suddenly began to move his fingers slowly, while Carlos was holding his hand and had talked to him all calmly about that everything will be good again. Very carefully the younger one opened his eyes and he seemed to be very confused about where he was and what had happened.

“Hey, sweetheart. Don’t worry. Everything is alright, I’m here.” Carlos secured him quickly to calm down his nerves. Softly he did squeeze his hand to give him even more safety and carefully he did brush some curls out of his face. “Where are mum and dad?” Lando managed to say in a very small and weak voice.

It broke Carlos’ heart into a million pieces again, but he swallowed down his tears, even tried to give his little brother a smile, when he told him “They are good, sweetheart. Don’t worry. But for now you need to rest, you hear me? Do you have much pain?”

Slowly and very carefully Lando nodded his head, squeezing his eyes shot when the pain rushed through his head. “You have to sleep some more, sweetheart. The pain will be less after, you will see. I promise, sweetheart. Keep on sleeping, I won’t leave your side for one second.”

Lovingly Carlos stroked with the back of his fingers over his baby brother’s cheek, while he whispered “I’m so proud about you, sweetheart. You are so strong.” Then Lando had seen his brother for the first and also for the last time ever crying, when he could watch a single tear making its way down to his chin.

“I love you so much, Lando.” Carlos whispered, even when his brother couldn’t hear him any more, being already fast asleep again. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered into his curls, before he kissed the top of his head and felt horrible for lying the first time ever to his baby brother.

But Carlos just couldn’t tell it to him now. Lando first needed to feel better, he didn’t want to scary and unsettle him, even when there was really never the right moment to tell his baby brother that their parents were gone. He had just wanted to clam him down at that moment, Lando won’t remember about his words anyway.

Lando had a concussion, three broken rips, one sprained leg, an open fracture of his thigh, a broken hand, many grazes, dark bruises and a pulmonary bruise and that all because of a damn drunken driver who had crashed with full speed into their parent’s car. The man also hadn’t survived the accident, if so Carlos had killed him with his own hands anyway.

It needed five more days till Lando was by full consciousness again, not being half in trance from all the infusions, medications and narcosis he had become. Carlos could see it in his eyes that his head was clear now and of course he asked that one question he had thought he would ask straight away.

“Where are mum and dad? How are they?” Lando asked, his voice did still sound very weak and his face was so pale and looked very unnatural, not like the way he was used to. Carlos pulled his chair closer to the bed, to take his brother’s hand into his and kissed softly the back of his fingers.

He really didn’t know how he should tell it to him. There was no good way for telling his baby brother that their parents were gone, but still Carlos had to do that right now. “Lando, sweetheart. I.. I’m sorry.” Lando slowly sat up, even when he was under much pain. His eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock, while he looked at his older brother in horror.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. But.. they are gone. They haven’t made it.” Carlos finally said it out loud and he somehow won the fight with his own tears, when he swallowed them down because he didn’t want his brother to see him cry. He had to be strong, for both of them. Lando did shake his head wildly, he couldn’t believe and also not understand his words.

“No. You have told me they are alright.” Lando could remember about it, sure he could. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Carlos whispered as calmly as possible, but of course it didn’t help. His younger brother began to panic pretty quickly, so the older one got up from his stool and set himself onto the bed to take him into his arms to calm him down.

“No! It’s not true! You have told me they are alright! You have promised me!” Lando screamed from the volume of his lungs, while he boxed with the less strength he had left in his weak body against his chest. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.” Carlos tried to hug his younger brother, but he did fight against it with everything he had.

But finally his strength was gone, when the reality washed over him and he broke down in his brother’s arms. “You have lied to me.” Lando whined against his chest, while he held himself onto his older brother’s shirt and cried thick tears into the fabric.

“I know, sweetheart, I know. I’m so sorry.” Carlos whispered into his curls, while he just held him close, cradled him softly and let him cry out. In the end Nico got them a nurse, after he had watched Lando getting more and more hysteric and panicking in his brother’s arms. She gave Lando something to calm down and only when he was finally fast asleep, also Carlos cried.

He cried himself out in his boyfriend’s arms. He felt horrible for first lying at his little brother, making up his hopes, just to destroy them all again. Carlos was so unsure about what the future will bring. Unsure about what will happen tomorrow. Unsure about if he will be able to make it. But he just had to, for Lando.

The next days were horrible. The first thing Lando always did when he woke up was crying for the next hour. Maybe he was still mad at his older brother for lying to him, maybe he wasn’t. But at least he let Carlos hold him, cradle him in his arms, while he was crying his eyes out.

In these moments, Lando always told him under deep, heartbreaking sobs, that it was all his fault. Dad and he had an argument about something he couldn’t even remember any more. So the last thing he did before their dad had died was fighting with him about something probably stupid.

But Lando could exactly remember about the look he had got from their mother in response shortly before it had happened. It was the same look he always got from her when dad and he were having an argument about something irrelevant.

Her kind look told him, that she will talk with dad later about it and bring him to understand his point of view and give in once again. Lando was always mummy’s little boy and he would stay it forever, didn’t matter how old he already was.

Carlos told his brother, that this really wasn’t true. They hadn’t died because of him. It was hard enough to tell him about their parent’s dead, but it was even harder to tell him that they had to die because of a drunken, irresponsible idiot. Nothing what had happened was Lando’s fault and Carlos also tried to take that thought away from him, when the younger one told him that the last thing he had done was to fight with them and they had to die with that thought.

“No, sweetheart. They haven’t. They knew you love them and they love you with their whole hearts. And they sure weren’t mad at you. They wanted you to survive and to not make yourself accusations. Believe me, sweetheart. Please, they are proud about you.” Carlos tried to calm him down for the thousand time, till Lando fell all exhausted in his arms asleep once again.

Only for his older brother and because Carlos told him that their parents wouldn’t want it to see him like that, Lando did drink and eat enough to keep going. With many pain killers and other high dosed medications the doctors had somehow managed it for him to get to their parent’s funeral.

It was terrible, the most horrible day in their lives. The second the coffin was under the earth, Lando broke down in his brother’s arms. And again without Nico’s help, Carlos wouldn’t have survived the worst day of his life.

That evening Lando had pleaded his older brother to put him to sleep, because it did hurt so much. Carlos didn’t know what he meant with that. Did he mean the much pain he still had from the accident or the pain about having lost their parents.

It was probably both and after one of the nurses had given his baby brother some infusion, he watched how Lando’s eyes got heavier and heavier with every minute, till he finally fell peacefully asleep. And again Carlos stayed the whole night long next to his side, cried his eyes out because he knew Lando couldn’t hear him.

One time the younger one had got all scared and desperately again, when he asked his older brother what will happen to him now. “Do I have to go to a children’s home now?” He had asked with already tears in his eyes and Carlos hated it the most to see him like that.

“No, sweetheart. Of course, not. You will stay by my side. Don’t worry.” The older one had calmed him down, while he stroked gently through his soft curls. “We will stick together. Forever, I promise.”

Lando had to stay three more weeks in the hospital and the older one always stayed by his side. He only left when his brother was asleep, but he was always back before he woke up again. Lando had to do some therapies, even when he was still in pain and actually found no reason to make his own body work again.

But he did it all for his older brother, after Carlos had pleased him for it. To do it for him and also for their parents. The older one knew he could make it, he was so strong and Carlos was already so proud about him for just trying it.

Almost six weeks after the horrible accident, Lando was finally allowed to go home. But it never felt so wrong to go home. He did start to cry bitterly in the second Carlos had helped him to step through the front door.

Everything, just everything remembered them about their parents. Mum’s apron in the kitchen, dad’s glasses in the living room, their toothbrushes, their names on letters. Carlos had never noticed before about how many pictures they had at home. Wherever he was looking, mum and dad were always looking and smiling down at them.

Somehow Carlos had managed it to comfort his baby brother and calm him down, till he fell asleep in his arms on the living room couch. He didn’t know what he should do then, just everything felt so wrong.

But he had to keep himself together, he needed to be strong. For Lando and also for his parents. His baby brother needed him so urgently right now and he wanted mum and dad to be proud about him.

So Carlos took care of the laundry, sorted the mails from the last weeks and wrote his boyfriend a shopping list about all the things he needed, after Nico had asked him if he should get them something after work.

Of course, Lando refused to eat some dinner that evening. To turn on the television seemed wrong, so they sat in silence in the middle of the living room. Just the faint light from the kitchen lighted up the room, while silent tears rolled down Lando’s cheeks and all Carlos could do was holding him in his arms and kissing his forehead.

He didn’t tell him that everything will be good again, not because it won’t, it will be one day he was sure about it, but Carlos knew it wasn’t the right thing to say at the moment. Because right now for Lando seemed like nothing could ever be good again and he wasn’t alone with that thought. His brother was feeling the same way.

Mostly they were sitting silently next to each other, only sometimes Carlos whispered down to him that he got him and that he was here and won’t let him go. It wasn’t late, when the older one suggested going to bed, because Lando still needed much rest, his body was still very weak after everything.

Carlos helped Lando upstairs and was there for him, when he broke down in front of their parent’s bedroom they had to pass by to get to their own rooms. The older one just wanted to take him into his arms and carry him to his bed, when Lando crawled on all four closer to the door and pushed himself up the door frame with his last strength.

Carlos helped him to get inside the room and lay down in their parent’s bed. It still smelled like them. Lando buried his face into his mother’s pillow, while he pulled dad’s duvet closer. The two brothers slept in their parent’s bed that night and Carlos really wasn’t sure about that everything will be good again.

But he tried his very best. Every day, every minute, every second. In the beginning the two brothers always slept together, Lando needed that to get at least some secure. The first few nights they did sleep in their parent’s bed, then in Carlos’ and sometimes even in Lando’s.

The younger one had nightmares about the accident almost every night, so the older one wanted to be close to him to wake him up, saving him from more pain and take him into his arms instantly to comfort him. Lando also still had his habit to move with his fingers through his brother’s hair in his sleep, because he wasn’t feeling good and needed something to soothe his nerves.

When Lando fell asleep in front of the television, Nico carried him all carefully upstairs when he was at their place. And when the German didn’t come back downstairs after a few minutes, Carlos knew Lando had woken up during the way and Nico was already lying next to him to comfort him.

And again the older brother was so happy and relieved to have such a great, caring boyfriend. He knew, Lando was like a little brother to Nico as well. He had got to know him, when was ten years old and they got along since the very first moment. Lando trusted Nico and Nico wanted to be there for Lando as well. The German still wasn’t living at their place, but he did spend much time with the two brothers.

If Nico wasn’t at their place, Carlos was the one who carried his baby brother upstairs into bed. Lando did always sling his arms and legs around his body like a little monkey and even when he was still half asleep, he asked his older brother all sleepily if he did stay next to his side over the whole night. Sure Carlos did. He would do everything for him.

For the next weeks, the younger one always slept next to them. Carlos and Nico both didn’t bring it over their hearts to let him sleep all alone in his room just yet. Lando still woke up in the middle of the nights, because of the pain he still had or he screamed his lungs out when he had a nightmare.

Later, when Lando was sleeping alone in his own bed again, he still often crawled next to Carlos and Nico during the nights, when he had a nightmare or just couldn’t fall asleep. They took him into their middle and both men cuddled him so long till he finally fell asleep.

It really wasn’t easy, especially in the beginning. Lando thought everything was his fault and his brother could see it in his face that he was thinking about the accident and their parents twenty-four hours every day. He wasn’t smiling any more and was nothing compared to the sweet, funny and young soul he was before.

Not even milk, Lando’s all-time favourite drink, did help to change his mood for at least one moment. Carlos always made sure about cooking his little brother’s favourite food and buy his favourite sweets, but he was only eating any more because he had to and not because he did enjoy it.

In the beginning, they still got visits from some of their relatives and friends from their parents, but also these visits stopped with time. Lando had always hidden himself inside his room then, because he couldn’t hear their words. Carlos himself also couldn’t hear them any more. Sometimes he even wished to be able to yell at them, but at the same time he knew they only meant it good in the end. But the two brothers just wanted to be alone in this time.

Lando was always a little shy, but now he was almost scared about other people. He didn’t trust anyone any more and couldn’t even hear the word alcohol. His two best friends, Alex and George, did visit him often in the beginning but it seemed like he also couldn’t trust them completely any more.

It was more than just understandable for Carlos that his brother was also scared about driving a car, so he only got into one when it was really necessary. Like for his therapies, but mostly he stayed at home. Lando did sleep much, sometimes the whole day and night long. He was always tired and exhausted.

Only on Sundays he got out with his brother together for a walk. They talked then and Carlos was more than just relieved about that his little brother told him everything. About his feelings, his thoughts, his fears. They have been always close, Carlos was since the beginning not only his adoptive brother but also his best friend.

They could talk about everything, even when the older one didn’t tell Lando about his own fears or problems in that time, especially not about their financial burden. The younger one already had to think about too much anyway, he didn’t want to bother him with his problems as well and he also didn’t want to make him even more worried. Lando first had to heal, if that was even completely possible.

Carlos had quitted his part-time job, he actually only had to finance his study, to be there for Lando twenty-four-hours every day. While he was without a job, they lived from their parent’s legacy, but for Carlos it was more important to help his little brother to get his old self again, at least physically.

It needed hundreds of therapies, hours by so many doctors, also psychologists, so much pain and all different kind of exercises they did together to help Lando. Carlos had helped his baby brother where ever he could.

Of course, that all did cost a lot of money and in the end they didn’t have much money left from their parent’s legacy. They were never rich. Mum and dad had always thought twice about how they will spend their money. They never got the newest iPhones, had the most expensive clothes, the biggest and most modern house or did fly for holidays every summer, but at least they had been happy.

Every week they did visit their parent’s grave, brought them flowers and lighted up a candle next to their names on the headstone. But nothing seemed to really help Lando to heal or feel better, like there did exist something like that anyway.

When Lando felt good enough after months and the psychologists had insured Carlos that he wasn’t suicidal to be alone for some hours every day, he got himself a new job. It turned out to be a full time job, giving finally up his dream to study one day.

Nico had already offered him more than once to borrow or even give him some money, but Carlos always refused. But it felt good to know that there was a compromise solution close, if he should ever need it.

In the beginning Carlos had asked his boyfriend to look after Lando, while he was at work. He knew the whole situation also wasn’t easy for Nico, their relationship suffered under it, but he helped him wherever he could.

The most he did when he just held him in the end of the day, when Lando was asleep and Carlos could let out all the tears he had held back the whole day long, because he had wanted to be strong for his baby brother.

On some evenings he asked his boyfriend to make him feel something different from this endless pain, pressure and fear. Nico exactly knew what he had to do then to make his boyfriend feel good, even when it was just for a few moments where he forgot about everything, before he started to cry once again and cuddled himself closer against his chest.

Lando had to repeat class because he had just missed too much and couldn’t keep up any more. His new classmates even made fun about the still visible consequences of the accident, because he was limping on some days when his leg did hurt him too much, when he couldn’t join them in sports and especially they did tease him about being an orphaned and it shocked Carlos to his bones, when his brother told him so under tears.

The older one told his brother to not listen to them, even when he knew it was hard and finally he even tried to solve the problem himself with talking to some of his classmate’s older siblings, maybe they could bring some sense into their younger siblings. By some it worked out, but some older ones were as brainless as their younger siblings, some even insulted Carlos for being gay.

He didn’t care about that any more. Carlos was already used to it, but he didn’t want Lando to get teased about his brother being gay. Especially because he never had anything against it. Lando was okay with it since the very beginning, like their parents.

But still, the teasing and insulting became finally less, but Lando never became comfortable in his new class. He was also having a hard time to find new friends. When Carlos asked his younger brother one day, why he didn’t spend so much time with George and Alex any more, he told him that it wasn’t that easy to spend time with them, when they weren’t in the same class any more.

They had different times of leaving school, Lando also couldn’t join them at any sports any more after the accident and his two friends were a couple now and he didn’t want to be the third wheel.

Lando became kind of outsider, which didn’t surprise Carlos at all after everything. He did spend most of his time alone in his room, reading books, listening to music, write something in the book, which was probably his diary or he did draw something. Sometimes he even showed his older brother some of his drawings and Carlos had to admit that the younger one really had some talent and maybe it did help him to heal at least a little.

Some days were good, some days were worse. It also wasn’t surprising when Lando also became bad at school. He just couldn’t concentrate too long at one thing any more and became pretty frustrated and angry when something didn’t work out as quickly as he wanted. 

One day Carlos came home to a crying and sobbing Lando sitting by his desk, because he couldn’t solve his maths homework. All patiently the older one tried to explain it to his little brother and also Nico tried his best and somehow, after many tears, screams from Lando’s side, because Carlos would never ever yell at him, and hits against the desk also from Lando’s side, they always made it together somehow.

Their birthdays were always the worst, mum and dad’s, but also their own, the holidays and Christmas. Carlos made everything he could to make it a nice day for Lando. He did bake him a cake on his birthday, did decorate the whole house for Christmas, bought him the gifts he had wished for and had found the biggest and most beautiful Christmas tree, but it always ended up the same.

Lando was crying in his older brother’s arms because he missed their parents so much. And Carlos would lie if he would say he didn’t miss them every single day as well.

The older one had changed much. Before he was a funny, young man with many dreams, always a kind smile on his lips and he had enjoyed every moment of his life, but things had changed.

Carlos barely saw his friends any more, didn’t go out at all anymore and he had also stopped to go to the fitness studio, instead the only thing he could do was go for a run, whenever he had some time. Even when he had always liked it so much to go boxing. Life had changed him. He was only living from one day into the other any more.

The only destination he had left was to be there for his baby brother, safe him from the world and give him a good life. Carlos stood up very early ever morning, actually it was still in the middle of the night, only to make Lando some healthy breakfast, prepare his lunch box for school and cook so he had something warm and self-made when he came home after school.

Carlos brought the younger one to school every day and it was always worth it all, when he became a kiss on his cheek in response, before Lando got out of the car. After, Carlos got to work and went home instantly after going shopping. Lando was already at home by that time, Nico had picked him up from school and after the older one had stowed away the shopping and had taken care of the dirty dishes, he made some housework.

Following he helped his little brother by his homework, if Nico hadn’t already helped him to do so and spend some time with him together. They did like to play FIFA on their PlayStation, since they couldn’t play real football any more since the accident and Carlos let him win almost every time.

When Lando spend some time on his own inside his room, the older one took care of the laundry, cooked dinner or did spend at least some time with his boyfriend before he fell all exhausted into bed only to start from new in a few hours.

Two years had already passed since the sudden dead of their parents. Many things had changed since that. Lando’s now sixteen years old body had changed. He had grown up and he also wasn’t Carlos’ baby brother any more, even when he will stay his baby brother forever. Lando had become a young man and about that his older brother was damn proud.

They both had changed, especially Lando and Carlos hated to admit it, but he hadn’t changed into a positive way. How could he even, of course, after what had happened.

The once so deep and trusting relationship between the two brothers was almost completely gone. Lando didn’t talk to Carlos at all any more. They only spoke a few words and the younger one always flipped out when his brother asked him about anything too deep or even his feelings or just about how school was and Carlos didn’t even try it any more to mention that he should try and find himself some new friends or do something outside.

Lando didn’t let his older brother be part of his life any more. To his sixteen Birthday he had wished himself a new computer. Carlos had spent almost his whole savings to get him one, because it was his biggest wish and he did want to make his younger brother happy.

Since that, Lando spent his whole free time in front of it and Carlos already regretted it to have got him that birthday present. He had stopped to write and draw completely, something the older one had always thought had helped him.

Sure, Lando had been kind of happy for a few moments when he had got his present, he had also smiled a little when he had unwrapped it, but Lando hadn’t really smiled since two years and Carlos also didn’t get at least a hug in response for it.

All he knew his baby brother did all the time was streaming. It was his hobby, actually his only hobby and Carlos really wished he would have another one. He sometimes watched his streams secretly, because he wanted to get to know about what was happening in his life, because Lando didn’t tell him anything any more. If he should ever find out about that, he would freak out like he never had before, Carlos was sure about that.

But Lando never talked about private things in his streams. He just used the anonymity of the internet, to become another person for at least a few hours. He didn’t show his face in the streams, instead he only shared his voice. Then he wasn’t the young man, who parents were dead, who had bad acne, was horrible at school and didn’t have any friends at all.

He just played computer games in his streams and it kind of made him happy. Lando had brought a little sign onto his room door, to show his brother when he was streaming or when not.

If he was allowed to get inside his room or not. But even when he wasn’t sitting in front of his computer, which really wasn’t often the case, the sign was turned onto the red side, because he did want his peace and didn’t want to see his older brother.

They did fight a lot in the last months. Actually it was only Lando yelling at Carlos, whenever he wanted and felt this way. The older one never screamed back, he just let him do it till he was finished, ran upstairs and slam the door behind of his room. Maybe it made him feel better to make room for his anger. At least he hoped so.

Nico had told his boyfriend already more than once, that Lando’s behaviour towards him really wasn’t okay, especially after what he had already done for him and what he was still doing. He didn’t have any respect at all, took it all for granted and was pretty cheeky in a bad kind of way.

Carlos meant it were probably Lando’s teenager hormones and he really hadn’t it easy in his life the last months, he understood why he acted the way he did towards him. Nico didn’t want to fight with his boyfriend about it again, because he knew it wouldn’t make at sense at all.

Carlos still got up very early every morning. He made breakfast for Lando, which he didn’t eat in the end. Carlos prepared his lunch box, which the younger one brought back from school untouched. They didn’t talk when he brought him to school, because Lando had his earphones in and looked out of the window, while the hood of his sweater covered most of his face.

Since a very long time Carlos didn’t get a kiss on his cheek any more for everything he did for his baby brother. On some days he could call himself lucky, when Lando said goodbye to him and didn’t ignore him at all. Almost daily he refused lunch, instead he stuffed some fast food into himself, he had bought from the pocket money he got from his older brother.

Also almost every evening, he let Carlos know about that he didn’t like the dinner he had cooked for him, that it didn’t taste good at all. Lando also didn’t help his brother one bit with the house work, instead he let his laundry lay everywhere around the house, let dirty dishes untouched in the kitchen sink and never helped him to cook, even when he always complained about it.

Carlos couldn’t even remember the last time the two of them had done something together. Go to the cinema for example, play some FIFA, watch a film, go for a walk or at least talk. He missed their cuddle times, which felt like they had done the last time a lifetime ago. He missed his near, to hold him close and the possibility to make him smile for just one brief moment.

It was a pretty nice summer evening Carlos and Nico spend outside in the garden. Like always Lando didn’t want to join them, Carlos hadn’t even dared to ask him, because once again he wanted to be alone in his room. It was summer break, but still he almost didn’t see him the whole day long. It was nice outside, but the only thing Lando did was to spend his whole time in front of his computer.

Soon Nico had to start his night shift and the couple just wanted to enjoy the last minutes of their evening. The German leaned against the cupboards inside the kitchen as he watched his boyfriend making them some coffee. Carlos couldn’t resist it to make some chocolate milk for his baby brother.

He kissed his boyfriend’s lips, before he went upstairs to bring Lando the glass of milk. His whole focus was on the glass in his hands, because he had made way too much milk into it and he really had to try his very best to not pour out anything. Because his whole concentration was on the glass in his hands, Carlos hadn’t noticed the red sign on his little brother’s door and just got inside.

“Hey, sweetheart. I thought you would maybe like to have some chocolate milk. If you want, you can come downstairs to Nico and me. We could..” Carlos told his brother with a warm smile on his lips, while he still only looked at the glass in his hands.

“Carlos! What the fuck!” Lando shouted, after he had pressed some keys on his keyboard, pulled his headphones away and stood up to look all angrily at him. Only then the older one got it what he had just done. “Why the hell do you come inside my room, while I’m streaming? Are you fucking crazy?”

“I.. I have made some coffee for Nico and me and I have thought that maybe you would like some chocolate milk.” Carlos tried to explain himself, while he offered his baby brother a smile. But Lando’s expression didn’t change. He still looked all angrily, even narrowed his eyes at him.

Because he still didn’t say anything, his breathing was just deep and very fast like he will explore with every second, Carlos went on to calm him down “Do you maybe want to come outside to Nico and me? It’s a pretty nice evening actually. And if you want we could play some..”

“NO!” Lando yelled from the volume of his lungs, which caused Carlos to flinch together so badly that he even poured out something from the milk onto his hand. “I don’t want to get downstairs to you and your damn boyfriend! I don’t want to talk to you, play anything with you or spend any time with you at all! I just want to be alone, don’t you get it? _You_ have messed up everything! You aren’t dad, you can’t tell me what to do and what not. And you sure as hell aren’t mum, because I always liked her chocolate milk!”

Carlos was speechless, he didn’t know what to do or what to say. He just stood there and stared with an opened mouth at his little brother, while he still held the glass in his hand. All angrily Lando stepped in front of him, took the glass of milk quickly out of his brother’s hands, smashed it onto his desk so half of the milk got poured out and pushed his brother outside his room.

Lando even boxed his fists a few times against his chest, after he had shoved Carlos harshly back out on the corridor and yelled again from the volume of his lungs “I HATE YOU!”


	2. Chapter 2

Still all in shock frozen, Carlos let Lando do it all. He didn't even try to stop him or defend himself. He let Lando take out his whole anger and frustration on him, before the younger one disappeared into his room again and did smash the door loudly in front of his nose. Carlos still couldn’t believe or get it what had just happened. His heart did hurt badly, it did cramp inside his chest and he didn’t get enough air inside his lungs.

“Carlos? Liebling?” Nico asked carefully from where he was standing next to the stairs. The second he had heard Lando yelling, he had run upstairs and had to watch it all with his own eyes. Otherwise he wouldn't have believed it. Nico just wanted to get closer to his boyfriend and take him into his arms, when he did hide his face inside his palms and began to cry bitterly.

Before Nico could reach him, Carlos ran away. He hurried downstairs and the German could hear the back door shot and could watch his boyfriend through the window, how he sat himself onto the bank in the middle of their rose garden.

It was their parent’s pride of joy and Carlos had groomed it all the time, for them. And also for Lando to give him some safety, to hold onto the past and keep it blooming and their parents alive through the roses. So they won't ever forget about them.

Nico had to watch his boyfriend through the window how he broke down and it did break his heart as well.

It was then that he had enough. He had enough about Lando and his stupid, respect less behaviour towards his older brother. Nico should have done it already months ago, but now he really couldn’t hold himself back any more, when he stormed into the younger once room.

“What the hell? What’s wrong with you two today?” Lando asked outraged, when Nico suddenly stood in the middle his room, but the older one didn’t care, he also wasn’t scared about his reaction when he unplugged the cable of his computer. “Are you crazy? What the fuck..” But Lando didn’t get any further, after he had stood up and was ready to box at Nico as well.

But the taller one caught his hands easily and even shook them lightly, trying so to wake him up. With a loud, strong voice, Nico told him “No, what the hell is wrong with _you_? Don’t you get anything any more?” Lando tried to fight back, but of course the German was stronger. “Let me go, you hurt me!”

“No! First you listen to me!” Nico yelled back, pretty loud actually, which caused Lando to flinch together badly. Normally this really wasn’t the older one’s way, Lando had never heard him scream before, especially not at him.

Nico let go of his hands, just to squeeze his shoulders, when he shook them lightly and he went on with “What are you even thinking in that stupid head of yours? Do you even know what you have just done?” With confused eyes and a half opened mouth Lando looked up at him. He seemed really clueless and it caused Nico to get even angrier.

He let go of him and instead pointed with his hand outside the window, where Carlos was sitting and still cried his eyes out. “You have deeply hurt your brother with your words, after everything he has done for you. I know you were only thirteen years old when your parents passed away and I have also understanding about that you don’t have it easy and after everything you have been through, but your brother has given up almost everything he had to give a good life.”

“Maybe you haven’t even noticed it, but he has given up his dream to study and took some stupid full-time job in an office he didn’t even like instead, only because of you. To earn as much money as possible to make you a good life, to buy you everything you want, so you can go to college one day. He stands up in the middle of the night every day to make you something to eat, to do the housework all on his own because you are too lazy to help.”

“And everything he wants in return is the knowledge that you are alright. But you don’t give a fuck about what Carlos does for you. You don’t even thank him or give him at least some attention. Even when all he wants in return is to spend some time with you or at least a smile. Maybe you don’t have it easy, but he sure as hell also doesn’t have it. You aren’t the only one inside this house, who has lost his parents that night. Just think about it for one second. Carlos is only human and tries his very best every second and all you do is fighting him and pushing him down.”

“If you are angry or frustrated, yell at me. Let it all out on me, but not on your brother. Don’t let it all out on him. He really doesn’t deserve it to be treated like that. Or do you really think your brother is heartless or even cold-hearted because you never see him cry? Do you really think your parent's death didn't get close to his heart, that he doesn't miss them every day? I will tell you something, Carlos does cry, _every_ single night when you are asleep and he is sure you can’t see or hear him. He wants to be strong for you every minute and it kind of breaks himself even more.” 

“But he does that all with pleasure, endures it all because you mean the world to him. Carlos will always defend you no matter what you do or how many times you will yell at him without a reason. Not even I have a chance then, because you are his everything. He protects you with is life and you are not only his little brother, you are also like a son to him. Hell, he would die for you. And you can’t even imagine how much he loves you.”

Something in Lando’s expression had changed, while he had got thrown the truth against his head and he just realized about what he had done. His gaze looked softer, almost like the sweet, young boy Nico had closed into his heart the very first second he had seen him.

With a calmer and quieter voice he finally added “I have to go to work now and when I come back again, I want you to have apologized yourself by your older brother. I want you to be there for him just once, when he needs you. I want you to take care of him like he has done for you already his whole life long. Maybe he can’t replace your dad and also not your mother, but I think he is already pretty close to that and he makes a damn good job. You should better be grateful to have him as your older brother.”

With that, Nico let the younger one back alone. For the first few moments, Lando only stood there in the middle of his room and thought about the older once words. Only when he heard the front door close, he woke up from his trance and looked over to the chocolate milk on his desk. God, Nico was so right. Lando carefully dared to look out of the window to where Nico had pointed at before, scared about what he will find.

And there he did spot him. Carlos. He was still sitting like the broken soul he was all alone on that bench in the middle of their parent’s rose garden, he had kept alive all on his own.

Like never before in his life, Lando felt so ashamed about everything he had ever done and said to his older brother. He felt so stupid and like the worst person in the whole world. What had he done? Carlos really didn’t deserve that. He did deserve the world, a better brother.

Quickly Lando ran downstairs, through the back door and down the patio, closer to the rose garden. Until now, Carlos hadn’t noticed him, his tears and sobs were too loud for that. Just then Lando had got it, that he had never seen his older brother cry before. How had he managed that all the time, since their parents were gone? How could he be so strong for so long? He had probably always wanted to seem strong in front of his younger brother and give him nothing to worry about.

God, it must have eaten him up from the inside to hold back his tears in front of him all day long. And Lando hadn’t even noticed it. How couldn’t he? Had he really thought Carlos couldn’t cry or that the death of their parents didn’t touch him at all? Maybe it had all hurt him in the end even more than Lando himself.

“Carlos?” The younger one finally said his name out loud carefully. He didn’t know how his brother will react to it, to him. Maybe he didn’t want to speak one word with him ever again.

But against his expectations, the older one quickly whipped the still present tears with the back of his hand away from his cheeks, when he got his presence, sprang onto his feet and even forced himself to form a smile on his still trembling lips.

“Hey, sweetheart. What’s wrong? Do you need anything?” Carlos tried to sound like he wasn’t crying his heart out just seconds ago, he was fully into his roll to be the older and stronger brother once again.

Unsure Lando looked up at him through his lashes and played nervously and with a bad conscience with the hem of his shirt, when he said “I think I’m not the one who needs his brother at the moment.”

Lando had to watch how new waves of tears did flood Carlos’ eyes, while his lips began to shake and his face cramped. Without hesitating for one more second, the younger one crashed against his older brother’s chest and wrapped his arms tightly around his belly.

Carlos buried his face deep into the crotch of Lando’s neck, while he cried bitterly and deep sob let his shoulders shake badly. “I’m sorry, Carlos. I’m so sorry. For everything I have done and for everything I haven’t.” Somehow the younger one had managed it to let them both sink down on the bench and he let his older brother cry out all the tears he had held back for too long.

When Carlos had calmed down enough for it, he pulled away a little so he could look at his baby brother. Lando hadn’t even noticed it that he was crying as well, only when Carlos gently whipped his tears away with his thumbs, while he framed his still so cute face.

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything, sweetheart. It was my fault. I haven’t looked at the sign and I’m sorry for not being able to make the chocolate milk as good as mum has made it.” The older brother whispered, while his still shaking lips tried to form a smile and tears fell silently over the edge of his eyes.

“No, Carlos. Don’t say something like that. It wasn’t your fault, nothing ever was your fault. It was all mine, I was a monster to you in the last months. I don’t know why have done and said the things I have, but now I know I have hurt you deeply and I feel so stupid for it. I’m sorry, Carlos, I am truly sorry. You are a great, older brother, even the best. Actually I don’t deserve you and everything you have ever done for me.”

Now it was Lando’s turn to whip the teardrops away from his older brother’s face, while he looked up at him and asked all seriously “Can you forgive me?” With a big momentum, Carlos threw his arms around his younger brother’s small body and pulled him tightly against his body, so that the air got pressed out of Lando’s lungs, but in a good kind of way. It was hug, a real hug.

“God, sweetheart. There is nothing I have to forgive you. You haven’t chosen anything of this, it’s not your fault.” Carlos whispered with an already trembling voice again into his ear. “But you also haven’t chosen this life. You have given up so much for me, only to make sure I’m alright and to have it as good as possible. You never thought about yourself for one time the last years. And you have even given up your biggest dreams only for me.”

The older brother loosened slowly their embrace, so he could look him in the eyes, when he said “What do you mean with that, sweetheart? Has Nico talked with you?” Lando nodded his head and quickly added to the German defence “Don’t be mad at him. He only told me the truth actually. He just made me realize it and made me finally opened my eyes.”

Lovingly Carlos moved his fingers through his younger brother’s sweet curls, when he answered “Yeah, maybe I have always imagined my life to be a little different, but I’m happy and I wouldn’t want to change it. It’s more than just alright, as long as you are a part of it. And I did it all with pleasure, it was my responsibility to look after you. I’m still your big brother, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t carry the whole weight on your own shoulders every day. I also have my responsibilities towards you as a younger brother. I promise, I will change and help you in the future. We will always stick together, right? As a family.”

Quickly Carlos nodded agreeing his head, while it were tears of happiness running down his cheeks now. “Yes, sweetheart. I will always be there for you and I’m so damn proud about you. You are my everything.” Lando took his older brother’s still lightly shaking hands into his, stroked with his thumb over the back of his fingers, while he whispered “And I’m so proud to call you my brother. And I know mum and dad are also proud about you, wherever they are. I love you, Carlos.”

Lando leaned forward to kiss the older one’s tear strained cheek and wrapped his arms one more time around his neck and together they cried tears of sadness, joy and relieve into each other arms. “I love you too, my baby brother. I love you so much.”

They were holding each other close already for minutes, but neither of them wanted to pull away. It felt just so good to finally have the other one close again, to be able to hold onto each other since such a long time. Carlos had placed his chin right on top of his younger brother’s head and moved all lovingly with his fingers through his wild curls.

Lando held himself onto his older brother’s shirt, while he pressed his ear against his chest to hear his heartbeat. He had totally forgotten about how much it had always calmed him down and already now he felt so much lighter, more balanced and calmer than before.

Everything was so silent around them, so peacefully and Carlos’ voice did still fit so perfectly into this world, when he whispered “I know you probably can’t remember about it, sweetheart, but.. After the accident, you were in artificial deep sleep for already two days, when I told you that you could to let go, if you have too much pain or you would prefer it to be with mum and dad. I have promised you to not be mad at you, if you would like to go. Right after I have told you so, your heart stopped to beat.”

Slowly Lando lifted his head. He had never heard that story before nor that his heart had stopped to beat once. “I have really thought you have really made your decision and even when I told you I wouldn’t be mad at you if you would really want to go, I still didn’t want to lose you. I said one last goodbye to you and how much I love you, before they brought you away from me.”

“I have really thought you were gone the whole time long, even when no one had told me so. I didn’t want to let you go, but I also wanted your best. You were everything I had left, you were my baby brother and I should protect you, but I didn’t want to see you in pain or you will long for our parents I couldn’t give you back. I just wanted you to be happy, I just wanted your best, like always.”

“But then you came back to me. Your heart began to beat again and you have made your decision to stay with me. And till today I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. I don’t know what I would do without you, sweetheart.”

Both brothers had tears in their eyes once again, while they looked at each other. Lando was all shocked about the story he had just first heard for the first time in his life, but at the same time his expression was full of love and admiration towards his brother. Carlos was so much stronger than he had thought all the time.

“No, I can’t remember about it.” The younger one finally told him, when he had found the courage again after hearing this story. Lovingly Carlos stroked with the back of his fingers over his little brother’s soft cheeks, while he watched him with a smile on his lips.

But that smile did quickly fade away, when he had to think about something. “Are you sometimes still mad at me for lying to you back then?” Of course, Lando knew about what his older brother was talking about. He meant the day he had first woken up after the accident and he had told him about their parents being alright.

Quickly and truthfully the younger one shook his head and told his brother to calm down his worries “No. Of course, not. Now I know why you have done that. I understand it. Once again you have only wanted to protect me. I’m not mad at you, Carlos. For nothing.”

Relieved the older one nodded his head, but still he looked very thoughtful. “I’m still sorry about not being able to replace mum and dad.” Once more Lando shook his head quickly and looked Carlos directly into his eyes, when he told him all sincerely “I don’t want you to replace them. Carlos, I want you to be you. You are already being the perfect, older brother for me. I love living with you together, you are doing your job more than just great, I feel safe when I know you are close to me and your chocolate milk really isn’t that bad. Yeah, it tastes different than mum’s, but I still love it.”

Lando offered his older brother a cute smile, to which he could never resist and he just had to believe him. “Thank you, sweetheart. That means a lot to me.” The younger brother cuddled himself closer to Carlos again, who took him into his arms instantly. “It’s only the truth and I will try to tell you so every day from now on. I couldn’t have got a better brother than you. I don’t know how I will ever be able to pay that all back to you.”

“You really don’t have to, sweetheart. I did it all with pleasure and I know you would have done the same for me. That’s what brothers are for.” Carlos told him, while his nose was buried deep inside his younger brother’s sweet curls and he took in his scent to feel home after such a long time.

“But I will still try it. That’s the least thing I have to do. And you can also count on me, Carlos. I will always be there for you, brother.” Lando told him with closed eyes, because all the feelings rushing through his body suddenly became too much and silent tears already made their way down to his chin once again.

They stayed like that, till it became dark. Together they looked at the roses around themselves, the roses their parents had once planted here a long time ago. They listened to the songs the crickets were singing in their garden and they talked, they really talked since such a long time.

They talked about their dreams, their fears, their thoughts, their worries. And this time also Carlos was talking and told his younger brother everything he had held back the last years. They stayed outside till Lando began to shiver and Carlos asked him teasingly if he was up for some FIFA.

Sure he was, they hadn’t played since such a long time together. And even after such a long time, Lando still hadn’t got any better. He only won two from eight rounds. The two brothers had laughed much together, had a lot of fun like they hadn’t in the last months.

When Lando announced that he had enough from losing, Carlos turned off the PlayStation and an almost uncomfortable silence washed over them. It was Saturday evening, normally Lando was streaming at this time of the week, so the older one said well-meant to his brother “You know, you can go streaming if you want. It’s okay, I still have to do some laundry.”

“No, I really don’t want to stream right now. Do you maybe want to watch a movie together? I promise, I will help you with the laundry tomorrow.” Lando asked hopefully, he just didn’t want to be alone right now.

“Sure, sweetheart. Chose the movie, I will get us some popcorn.” Carlos answered all happily, he really hadn’t expected something like that. Lando chose the third Harry Potter movie, because he knew it was his older brother’s favourite and together they finally watched a movie again after such a long time.

They were through the half movie, when Carlos wrapped the younger one and also himself into a fluffy blanket. Lando hadn’t done this since a half eternity, but it still felt so good and like he had never stop doing it at all, when he cuddled himself into his older brother’s side.

Curled up into one fluffy ball, the two of them watched the movie and to Carlos’ surprise Lando stayed awake till the end. But he was already pretty tired, he could tell it by the way how small his eyes had become and he did yaw almost every minute.

Actually Carlos didn’t want to loosen their embrace, but he still did when the credits began to play and he turned off the television. When he looked back at his already half asleep, little brother, he asked him with a smirk playing on his lips “Do you want me to carry you upstairs like in the old times?”

“Nah, I’m not a baby any more.” Lando answered, even when he hated it get out of the warm, fluffy blanket. Because Carlos was already tired as well and the laundry won’t run away till tomorrow morning, he went with his brother together upstairs to go to bed as well.

When they both passed by their parent’s bedroom, which was still untouched since they were gone, Lando suddenly stopped his steps. Curiously Carlos looked over his shoulders back at him and almost began to worry when he saw his expression. He just wanted to ask him what was wrong, when Lando was faster “Can I sleep next to you tonight?”

“Sure, sweetheart. You really don’t even have to ask for that. Come here.” Carlos did response with a smile on his lips, before he laid his arm around his younger brother’s shoulders and together they went to bed that night and feel asleep next to each other.

When Nico came home from his work in the middle of the night, he was kind of nervous about what he will find. Carlos hadn’t tried to call him after Lando had yelled at him and he had just left the house. And he didn’t know yet if that was a good or a bad sign.

Everything looked like always. No glasses had got smashed on the ground or furniture had got broken, like he had actually expected. It seemed like his boyfriend had made himself some popcorn and had watched a movie, while Lando had probably streamed like every Saturday evening. Only when Nico entered Carlos’ bedroom he got it what had really happened here the last hours.

He began to smile to himself instantly, when he saw them like that. All cuddled up together they were sleeping peacefully in one bed. Finally.

Nico did decide that Lando had grown too much the last months, so the three of them couldn’t sleep in one bed together any more. Instead, he took the younger one’s bed, to let the two brother’s some time on their own.

The next day Nico woke up to something he hadn’t heard since such a long time in this house. Laughers. Both brother’s laughers. Still with his pyjamas on but with already perfect hair, because his golden hair was just always perfect, Nico went downstairs to find the two brothers giggling in the kitchen.

With a smile on his lips and shiny eyes like he hadn’t seen them by his boyfriend since such a long time, Carlos wished him good morning and pulled closer for a sweet kiss. Lando had Spaghetti sauce almost everywhere on his face, because he was looking way too deep into the cooking pot.

The siblings told him that Carlos tried to learn Lando how to cook and in the morning they had made the laundry together. Later the day the three of them made a walk and in the evening Lando also apologized by Nico for his behaviour towards him and he promised him to improve himself.

And Lando kept his promise. He helped Carlos by the housework, he stopped to stream so often and instead spend more time with his brother again. He appreciated everything the older one did for him and didn’t complain any more.

The following week Lando organized a date night for his brother and his boyfriend, since they weren’t out since such a long time. First he almost had to force Carlos to agree to it, only when the younger one secured him that he will be alright to be alone for a few hours, he finally agreed to it.

Actually Carlos didn’t even want to get into nice looking clothes, only when Lando did force him once again he finally did, because he tried to argue with that Nico and he were already together for years and they just wanted to go to the cinema and following at a restaurant anyway.

Punctually the German picked up Carlos and made that one whistle sound when he saw his good-looking boyfriend. Carlos just rolled his eyes in response, before he hugged Lando and told him to call him anytime if he needed something, before he got into Nico’s car.

While the two of them were on their date, Lando gave his very best to do as much housework as possible. He took care of the dirty dishes, he did hoover, cleaned the bathroom and he did fold the laundry, even when it looked like a mess in the end.

All exhausted, Lando finally got to bed and he only woke up again, when he heard his room door getting opened. Carlos just couldn’t resist to look after his little brother when they came home from their date.

“We are back, sweetheart. You were so diligent tonight, I have already seen what you have done. Thank you, sweetheart and also thank you so much for making this evening possible. It was great. I love you, baby brother.” Lando had to smile to himself, because he could hear out of Carlos’ voice and also about the way he was talking, that he was a little drunk. The younger one could also smell the alcohol longing on him.

Of course, Carlos noticed his smile and when Lando opened his eyes carefully, he told him honestly “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t want to wake you up. Keep on dreaming.” The older one whispered, before he leaned down and kissed his little brother’s forehead.

“Don’t worry. I’m happy the two of you obviously had a nice evening.” Lando said all sincerely, he was really happy for his brother, he had more than just deserved to finally have some fun. But it shouldn’t be the last fun tonight.

“It really was. Good night, sweetheart.” Carlos stroked one more time through Lando’s wild curls, but before he could close the door behind himself, the younger one told him “I will listen to some music now and I won’t leave my bed for tonight any more. Just so you know.”

It needed a few moments till Carlos’ lightly drunken brain got it what his brother was trying to tell him with that. When he finally got it, his cheeks began to burn in a deep red and shocked he stammered in response “Oh.. Alight.. Okay..” Carlos just wanted to finally close the door, when the younger one caused to roll his eyes, when he wished him “Good night and sweet dreams.”

Lando had already dozed off a few times, while he was listening to some music. It was already over one hour ago, since Carlos and Nico had come home. Carefully he tried to take his headphones away to check if the two of them were maybe already finished.

But the second Lando had pulled his headphones away from his ears, he could hear them loud and clear and normally he would be disgusted, he still was, but he also had a satisfied smile on his lips when he pulled the headphones back on.

But the less sleep he had got that night was worth it, when Carlos and Nico smiled at each other like they had just fallen in love again the next morning. And Lando just had to ask himself then, if he will ever find someone, who will make him smile like that in his life as well.

With Nico’s help, Lando and he did organize a camping weekend for Carlos’ birthday. The older brother was visibly touched from their present and together the three of them spend a funny, unforgettable and maybe also a little uncomfortable weekend in the middle of nowhere.

Lando had also promised to give his very best for the new school year and that he will try to find himself a job for some afternoons of the week to spend money for his study, so Carlos didn’t have to save all his money for him and his education.

Because since a few weeks, Lando did talk about his dream about becoming a graphic designer one day more often again. Which made the older brother pretty happy and relieved, because he wanted Lando to fulfil his dreams.

And maybe when Carlos’ own dreams about his dream job will never become fulfilled, it still surprised him but at the same time he also liked the thought, when a policeman spoke to him after he had watched one of his boxing lessons, the older one did finally practice since a few weeks again.

Carlos always liked to do sports, especially boxing and the man had watched him closely and had asked him if he wanted to make a placement in his police station. When he told Lando and Nico about it by dinner, they both were excited instantly and meant that it would fit perfectly to him. Carlos was always very protective, he was fair and had the conditions for it.

He did admit that he also liked the thought, but the policeman told him he had to catch up school in the evenings to become a real policeman and that also meant he needed to work less, which caused to earn less money.

Thoughtful and maybe also a little sad, because Carlos had really liked that thought, but he also knew he couldn’t do it because of the money, he did move his dinner from one side of the plate to the other.

Lando meant they would somehow make it, now that he also had a job. But Carlos insisted that he should better save the money for his study and even when, the money wouldn’t last. Nico then took his boyfriend’s hand and told him all sincerely “If the money doesn’t last I will just pay for the rest.”

And like always by that topic Carlos shook his head, even when he knew the German only meant it good. Lando already knew that kind of conversation. Carlos didn’t want his boyfriend to pay for anything, because he wasn’t living here and he didn’t want to take advantage of him.

And because also Nico already knew this kind of conversation way too good, he simply said “Then I have to move in, as long as you will finally let me pay some bills then.” Both brother’s head snapped up by his words. Lando began to smile instantly, he really liked Nico, since the very beginning actually, and he did spend almost his whole time at their place anyway.

“I mean, only if you want me to.” The German added, when he saw his boyfriend’s shocked expression. But he got it wrong, until Carlos finally nodded his head quickly and began to shine. “I just want to see you happy, Liebling. I want you to try this. And just imagine how good you will look in a uniform.” Nico told him softly, with a smile on his lips as well.

Both men began to giggle, while Nico was still hugging his boyfriend. Lando could just smile at them. They were simply meant for each other, since the very beginning. The younger one also wanted his brother to be happy and he was also sure about that he will be a very good policeman.

But shortly after Carlos had agreed to become a policeman, he got sick. It was nothing serious, just a flu, but still the older one had to stay at home for over one week. In this time Lando took care of his brother like he had done already so often for him.

He checked on Carlos before he got to school in the morning and he did again in the second he came home again, after going shopping and taking something from the pharmacy for him. Mostly Carlos did sleep, almost the whole days and nights long.

While he was doing so, Lando made some housework and he also cooked some chicken soup for his brother, while Nico was still at work. The bowl of hot soup, Lando brought on a tablet next to some medicine and a glass of water upstairs to his brother.

The younger one apologized even before Carlos took the first spoon that maybe it didn’t taste good at all. The older brother just meant that he was sure that it did taste good and even if not, he wasn’t able to taste anything anyway with his cold.

After Carlos had eaten the whole bowl and had taken his medicine, the younger one laid himself next to his brother to cuddle a little and rest as well after school and the whole housework. Now he finally knew what it meant to do it all on his own, like Carlos had done so over years.

Lando could watch that his brother had trouble to rest peaceful because of his fever and so he did the same as their mother had always done, when they were sick. He quietly began to sing, it was actually only a whisper, but Carlos recognized the song instantly and he smiled to himself, while tears were rolling down his cheeks at the same time. Because it was also the same song he had once sung to Lando when he was in artificial deep sleep.

Carlos did still miss their mother and also their father like hell. He was also almost still a kid, when they had passed away and he would have needed them still so much. He missed the calm way their mother had spoken to him.

The way she had stroked trough his hair, while he was crying again, especially when he felt horrible about feeling different from his friends, later about his coming out and all the things people had said to him and the names they had called him because of it.

He thought about all the things their father had taught him, he always had his back and he could come to him whenever he needed him. While Lando was always mummy’s little boy, Carlos felt really close to their father. He was his role model, he had always wanted to be like him and now he couldn’t even see what his son had become and also not their mother.

But Carlos still had Lando, his everything. The boy was so much stronger than he actually even knew himself. He was something very special and so endless lovingly. A better little brother didn’t exist, he got that once more, while he listened to his singing voice and the way he had looked after him the last days.

Carlos could hear it out of his voice, the way it was shaking and very unstable from time to time, that his baby brother was crying as well. Sleepily the older one opened his eyes a split just to see some tears on his cheeks, before he pulled him closer against his chest and whispered into his curls “I also miss them, sweetheart. Every single day.”

They both cuddled till they fell asleep and together they took a long nap. At some point Lando had finally slipped out of his brother’s bed to make his homework and when Nico came home the two of them improved his soup a little, even when the German said that it didn’t taste that bad at all.

Carlos even joined them for dinner downstairs, before the three of them cuddled in front of the television, one on each side of the older brother to keep him all warm and comfortable. After three more days Carlos finally felt better again and he knew he only had to thank his boyfriend and also his baby brother for taking such good care of him.

Weeks went by and Carlos noticed that his younger brother did speak a lot about the boy, who was new in his class in the last time. His name was Sacha, his family was from Argentine and they had just moved into town a few weeks ago. Carlos suggested well-meant, if his brother didn’t want to invite him to their place. But Lando only bit down on his lip in response, before he shrugged his shoulders.

He meant that Sacha was the only one who didn’t know about their parents and so he didn’t only want to be friends with him because he had pity with him. Furthermore, Lando didn’t know if he could trust him to confide him something like that already now.

For now, he just liked it to spend his breaks with him together and talk about computer games. He felt pretty comfortable in his presence and he did like his company. Since Sacha’s first day the two of them were sitting next to each other in school and they also helped each other out, whenever the other one had a problem.

But still, three weeks later Lando asked his older brother if Sacha could come home with him after school. Carlos was more than just happy for his baby brother to have finally found himself a new friend, he obviously even eventually seemed to trust enough.

Carlos almost couldn’t believe his eyes, when he saw the Argentine for the first time. He was as cute as Lando, he had never thought that something like that was even possible. Sacha was very polite, had always a sweet smile on his lips and also seemed to be a pretty shy, young man, just like his younger brother.

When Carlos had asked the two of them if they were hungry, because he would cook them something for lunch, they thanked him and told him that they have already eaten something back at school and they wanted to do their homework now. Inconspicuous Carlos watched the two of them the whole time, while they were doing their homework at their dining table.

After everything was finished, they played something on their PlayStation and finally disappeared inside Lando’s room. Later Lando told his brother about that Sacha had asked him about their parents, if they were still at work at the moment. Lando then told his new friend about what had happened to them, he had never told anyone about it before.

And he just couldn’t stop his tears, even when he had tried so bad to suppress and swallow them down. But when Sacha hugged him tightly, Lando didn’t have anybody control left any more and cried into his friend’s shirt. Following, he apologized for it, but the Argentine only meant that it was alright and he was truly sorry about his parents.

When Carlos asked the two of them later that day, if Sacha wanted to stay for dinner, he was happy for his agreement and couldn’t wait till Nico will meet his brother’s new friend as well and he was also excited about what he will say about him.

The two young men formed a deep friendship over the next months. Sacha was also the first one Lando told about his streams, but they had almost stopped in the last time, because the two of them spent almost ever free minute together.

Lando had also shown Sacha their parent’s grave and he could talk to him about them, because he did always listen when his friend needed it. The young Argentine was kind of re-start for Lando, even when his past will follow his life forever.

They went outside together, went cycling, swimming and Sacha even brought Lando to play football again. Nico, Carlos and the two boys often ended up to play some football in their garden in the afternoons after school. Lando also began to write and draw again, he seemed so much more relaxed and happy since Sacha was in his life.

Sacha did sleep almost every weekend over at their place. And Carlos knew he hadn’t heard his baby brother laugh and see him smile like that since their parents were gone. Sacha and Lando could count on each other, they told themselves everything and nothing could bring the two of them apart any more.

On a rainy spring afternoon, Lando came downstairs and sat himself all thoughtfully down on their living room couch. It was almost unusual to see him alone, without Sacha. The young Argentine had somehow already become part of their family.

Carlos could tell that something did bother his younger brother, but he had learnt over the years to let him be first, till he will come to him on his own and only then he will ask him how he could help him.

And so it finally happened, when Lando asked carefully “Carlos, can I ask you something?” The older one let everything he had just been doing behind and set himself next to his brother on the couch “Sure, sweetheart. Everything you want.”

Lando breathed deep inside his lungs for one more time, before he finally said it out loud “When.. when did you know you.. love Nico?” Carlos was surprised about his question and the same time he wasn’t, because he had seen the way his little brother was looking at Sacha and the way they treated each other.

“If I’m serious, I don’t know, sweetheart. I think I have just felt it, you know. Like you obviously feel for Sacha.” Carlos tried to help. All shocked Lando looked at his older brother, before he asked quickly “How do you know I’m talking about Sacha? Do you maybe think he loves me too?” Carlos smiled, god he was so blessed to have such a cute, baby brother.

“It’s obvious, sweetheart. The way you look at him every time. You really don’t have to be ashamed for it all. And yes, I’m pretty sure he also has feelings for you, but the only right way to find it out is to ask him about it, sweetheart.”

Lando bit nervously down onto his lip, he was just too unsure and afraid to do so. Sacha was the only friend he had and the last thing he wanted was to lose him.

“But what if he doesn’t feel the same way for me? I don’t want to lose him. He is my best friend.” Carlos then took his baby brother into his arms, before he kissed the top of his head and whispered into his curls “You won’t ever lose him, sweetheart. You are made for each other, I know that.”

“Maybe I should ask Nico for some flirt tips.” Lando suddenly announced. All outraged and played offended Carlos answered “What tells you that I can’t give you any tips? I am actually pretty good at flirting, you little bastard.” With raised eyebrows Lando looked at his older brother, when he told him “Nico just seems to be the more experienced one to me, if I’m serious.” In response Carlos did attack the younger one with tickling him for the next minutes.

But still later that day, Lando also told Nico about his feelings for Sacha and he had the same reaction as his boyfriend, because they both liked the Argentine very much. But Nico got even happier and felt proud about himself, when the younger one asked him about some tips.

“Alright, you can ask him. But don’t take his tips too serious, because not everything he says is working.” Carlos warned him and also gave Nico a look to watch out about what he will tell his little brother “But by you all of my flirts were successful, Liebling.” Nico announced with a wink and while Carlos showed him his tongue, Lando looked all disgusted at the two of them.

Three weeks, many tears and nights Lando had slept next to his older brother because he had love sickness and was too afraid to tell Sacha his feelings for him later, the two friend’s came home one Saturday evening while they were holding hands. Lando smiled over his whole face at his older brother, before he hugged him close and whispered into his ear that Sacha had kissed him on his lips today.

“I knew it, sweetheart.” Carlos whispered into his ear, while he was still holding him close. “I know and he even told me, that he loves me.” Lando whispered back, his voice was filled with happiness. After they had loosened their embrace and Carlos had looked over at Sacha, who had watched the two of them the whole time long, he just couldn’t resist and pulled him also into a well-meant hug.

A few weeks later, Carlos come home to a crying little brother curled up on their couch. “Sweetheart. What’s wrong?” He asked already all worried, when he took place next to him and took him into his arms. Hopefully it was nothing about Sacha, the two of them were just meant for each other.

But Carlos suspicion was more than just wrong, when Lando told him under tears “I am happy. I feel really, really happy. The first time since mum and dad are gone. Do you think it’s wrong? Do you think I shouldn’t feel this way because they aren’t here any more?”

“Oh, sweetheart. Sure it’s alright to feel this way and I’m very grateful you are finally that happy again. You don’t have to feel bad about it for one second. Mum and dad would have wanted you to feel this way. They won’t be mad or disappointed in you. They exactly know how much you love them and they only want to see you happy, sweetheart. So be happy, you deserve it.” Carlos told him sincerely. It was the truth. No one he knew would have deserved it to be so happy like his sweet, little brother.

“Thank you, Carlos. You are the best. I love you.” Lando answered with a smile and tears rushing down his cheeks at the same time. He cuddled himself against his chest and stayed there till the last tear had dried. “I love you too, baby brother.”

In the summer the four of them even flew for the first time into holidays together and Lando was pretty proud about himself to be able to pay his part all on his own. They spent one wonderful, very funny and unforgettable week in Mallorca together.

And in just these few days their lives changed once again, when Lando had his first time with Sacha and Nico asked Carlos if he wanted to marry him. The two brothers had never ever dared to even think about it, but yes. Life was finally great again, because in the end everything really became good again.

They have lost two so important members of their family, they won’t ever be able to replace, but they had also won two new. The four of them were a family and nothing ever will be able to change that.

They were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm curious about your thoughts :)  
> How do you like this end? What do you say about this chapter in general?
> 
> I'm just weak for Carlos and Lando being brothers.
> 
> And actaully I have still two more (and way shorter) chapters in mind, but I don't know when or if I will ever write them down. We will see..
> 
> Just thank you guys so much for reading my story!! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me some time, but here is finally the third chapter.
> 
> I hope you will enjoy it :)

To move home was always difficult, hard, when not even scarring. But moving to a new home, far away from your old where you have grown up until now, not only in another country, but even in another continent, where people did speak a different language was even more difficult, harder and scarring.

But they had to. Sacha knew that and he also wasn’t mad at his parents for that, but still. They had to leave everything behind. Their family, their friends, their home and from one moment to the other Sacha had to restart.

This was a new start, a new start he had never asked for, but still he here he was. In England, thousands of miles away from Argentine and just everything about this new land did scary him out.

They were here now since about three weeks. Maybe about some things he will be able to get used to, like driving on the left side, but he sure as hell won’t ever get used to the food here, that was for sure.

And even when everything was so new for Sacha, he still felt kind of alright. But the more the beginning of the new school year was coming, the more he got nervous, when not even ill. It wasn’t like the Argentine was a bad student, even the contrary, but that was back there, back in his past life.

Now he had to start kind from new. Of course, they had English lessons back in Argentine and Sacha knew the basics, but still. Now he could only communicate with the foreign language and every lesson will only be hold in English and that simply scared him the most.

Sacha was also a very shy and reserved teenager. He had always trouble to find new friends and the only one he did have he had to let back in Argentine. So there was a big pressure on his shoulders and that one sick feeling deep inside his belly, when he got to his first day of school.

With a shaking hand he had knocked at the door of his new class. Sacha was pretty proud about himself, when he told the teacher his name and why he was here, without stammering and forgetting how this word was called in English.

The Teacher finally introduced him to his new class and first the young Argentine was too damn unsure to look up from his hands, but then he dared to take a look at his new classmates and got it that no one was paying any attention to him at all. Almost no one.

In the last corner, right next to the window was sitting all alone a boy with brown curls and eyes spellbound to him. He was the only one who looked at him, almost stared with his lips lightly parted like he was a ghost or something like that. But also Sacha couldn’t take his eyes away from him any more.

He could feel goose bumps breaking free on his skin, while also his lips opened a split and he asked himself what the boy’s name was. Sacha got thrown out of his thoughts, when the teacher next to him ordered him to take a free seat somewhere.

The adult gave him a light push, otherwise he would have probably kept staying still, still overwhelmed about just everything. There were a few free seats around the class, but without even wanting it, it seemed like he didn’t have his body under control any more, his feet did lead him over to the boy with the cute curls.

The boy had never stopped watching him the whole time long, but still he seemed kind of surprised, when Sacha stopped in front of his desk and asked all shyly “Can I sit here?” Unsure the young Argentine bit down onto his lip, because the boy let himself time and for one quick moment he didn’t know if he had just said so in English or in Spanish and the boy hadn’t been able to understand him.

But before he could ask one more time, the boy finally nodded his head and made the second half of the desk clean for Sacha. “Thank you.” The young Argentine whispered after he had sat down and hugged his bag with both arms, because he was still so tensed and nervous.

From the corner of his eyes he dared to take a look at his new neighbour, just to see that the boy was still staring at him. Eventually Sacha took his whole strength together and offered the boy his shaking hand “I’m Sacha.”

The teacher had already told the class his name and because the boy was probably also the only one who had listened, it was kind of unnecessary to tell him his name once again. But the boy seemed like he didn’t mind. Instead, he took his hand with a firm grip and shook it, while he answered him with the changing voice of a young man “I’m Lando.”

Since that, the two boys haven’t really spoken to each other again. But still Sacha could tell that Lando wasn’t uncomfortable with his presence or that he was too unfriendly to talk to him. He had the feeling that the young Brit was maybe as shy and careful around strangers like he was.

The only time they spoke to each other were in the mornings for greeting and saying goodbye to each other after the last school bell of the day. From what Sacha had already noticed, was Lando a good student. He always paid attention to the teacher, tried his best and never let himself get distracted.

But Sacha had also noticed that Lando didn’t seem to have many friends. He was most of the time alone and didn’t talk to anyone. In many points they were actually pretty similar.

They kept on with their hellos and goodbyes for weeks, till that one lesson, Sacha didn’t even know the subject any more, when he had trouble to write down a certain word. The teacher had her back to the class, Sacha had checked that before he leaned over to whisper at the boy “Lando, do you write bwoken or broken?”

The Brit seemed to be surprised about his neighbour’s words, but still he was helpful and even smiled shyly at him, when he answered “You write it with an r.” Sacha tilted his head at the word he had written down, to check if it will maybe look better or at least more correct with an r.

“Thanks.” The young Argentine did response, even gave him a small smile back, before he tried to correct his mistake. “Don’t worry. I have grown up here, but I still don’t know how this language is working.”

Now it was Sacha, who was surprised to hear his neighbour’s whispers. And also to see the sweet smile on his lips, when he looked over at him and without even wanting it, the young Argentine had to giggle.

Also Lando began to chuckle, maybe a little louder than Sacha, why he got the attention of their teacher and also a warning from her if he shouldn’t stop laughing. Both young men formed their lips into a thin line to keep themselves from giggling. They shared one more look, before they both tried to concentrate again.

At the end of the lesson, Lando was gone so quickly Sacha didn’t even have a chance to apologize himself for getting him into trouble. But he finally found the young Brit in the last corner of their school yard, eating there all alone his snack.

“Hey, Lando. I have just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for getting you into trouble before. It really wasn’t my intention.” Sacha told him sincerely, after he had got close enough but Lando had flinched together, because he hadn’t seen nor heard him coming closer.

A little confused he was first looking at him, he had even stopped to chew his sandwich, while he eyed him closely like he didn’t know about what he was talking about. “Don’t worry.” Lando finally answered, after he had swallowed his snack and smiled up at him.

Sacha nodded his head grateful and actually he had just wanted to leave Lando alone in peace again, when the boy added “Actually it felt kind of exciting to get admonished. I have never got it before.” Lando’s wide grin was contagious and so also Sacha had to smile.

Their smiles finally turned into laughers and after they had calmed down, Lando offered him to take a seat next to him, to spend their break together. Sacha did so with pleasure, he felt comfortable in Lando’s presence and it was nice to finally spend a break not all alone in another corner.

The young Brit eyed him a little suspected, when Sacha didn’t take out his lunch box and ate his snack like Lando was doing. “Don’t you eat anything for lunch?” He finally wanted to know. Slowly Sacha did shake his head, even when normally he would eat something now.

“Nah. I mean, I have forgotten my lunch box and also my purse at home today, but I’m not hungry anyway so.” Lando nodded his head in understanding, but still he looked for something inside his bag. “If you want, my brother always makes me way too many snacks.” The young man offered Sacha his opened lunch box, filled with two different kinds of sandwiches, tomato, cucumber, paprika, some cookies and also different kind of fruits.

Surprised Sacha looked at the big selection of snacks. “C’mon. Take yourself something. I can’t eat it all anyway.” Lando told him with a smile on his lips, a smile to which the young Argentine couldn’t say no, before he took himself a sandwich and some paprika. “Thank you.” Sacha said lightly touched and also thanked him with a cute smile in response.

They ate their lunch mostly in silent, watching the other around the school yard, till Sacha said still a little surprised “I mean, I don’t have any brothers or sisters, but I have always thought they don’t do something like that. Making you your lunch snack and then even such a big selection. Your brother has to be pretty nice.”

Lando’s whole body did freeze suddenly and Sacha got the feeling that he had said something wrong. He felt bad instantly and wanted to apologize, but then Lando calmed down and told him with a small voice “Yeah, Carlos is the best.”

Since that day, the two of them always spend their breaks together. Because Lando had shared his snacks with him, Sacha offered him some Argentine cake the next day. They quickly got it that they were both into computer games and talked most of the time about it.

Sacha also told him about his move to England, why they had to do so and that he was still not feeling comfortable here. The two boys talked a lot, even when Lando never told the Argentine anything about his family. But still they had become friends, because they were so similar and simply liked each other’s company.

They even became that close that the young Brit asked him one day, if he didn’t want to come over to his place after school the next day. They could play some video games and he could also show him his computer. Of course, Sacha quickly agreed to his invite, because he did like Lando and he was also a little touched, because he obviously liked him as well.

The next day the two boys went over to Lando’s place and Sacha was pretty surprised when a young man with obviously Spanish roots greeted them. “Sacha, that’s my older brother. Carlos, this is.. my school friend.” Lando introduced them and his cheeks blushed lightly, when he had called him his friend.

Carlos offered the young Argentine his hand and also a kind smile, while he told him “Ola, Sacha. Gusto en conocerlo.” First Sacha could only look at the man in shock, while he shook absently his hand. But then his lips formed into a big smile, when he heard his mother language and answered Lando’s brother “Ola, Carlos. Es un placer conocerte tambien.”

“Lando has told me you have moved from Argentine to here.” Carlos went on, to which Sacha could only node his head. He was still kind of shocked, because he really hadn’t expected to meet someone talking the same language as him.

“Like you can probably see, Lando and I have got adopted and our parents had given me the chance to learn the language from my home land.” The older one explained and now Sacha finally understood and nodded his head in understanding.

Carlos seemed really nice, not only because they were speaking the same language, but he also offered them to cook something for lunch, but they had already eaten something back at school and wanted to do their homework first before they go and play something on the PlayStation.

And so they did their homework as quick as possible, before they got over into the living room to play some FIFA. Sacha had noticed that they were always alone, expect to Carlos, who did something in the garden most of the time. But Lando’s parents were nowhere to see.

After a few matches, the two boys finally disappeared upstairs into Lando’s room, where he did show him his computer and they talked about all different kind of games again. In the end the young Brit also told his new friend about that he used to stream a lot, but stopped to do it so often in the last time.

Sacha was pretty excited about that and let himself get told every detail about it, because he also liked to watch streams from time to time. During their conversation, they had moved from Lando’s PC over to his bed, where they did make themselves comfortable.

They talked for hours, laughed a lot and Sacha could latest tell by now, that they have become real friends. When they have got silent eventually, the young Argentine finally asked out loud about what he was asking himself since a few hours.

“Are your parents still at work?” It was a simple question, but Lando reacted like Sacha had asked something completely wrong, again. The young Argentine didn’t know what it was, but he really had the feeling about asking his friend the wrong question sometimes, even when he didn’t have anything bad in mind.

“Lando?” Sacha finally asked guilty, after he had watched his friend like that for almost one minute. Lando did obviously struggle with something, his body seemed tensed, his expression in shock and he did look so pale suddenly. “Are you okay? Have I said or done something wrong?” Sacha asked all carefully, while trying to catch his friend’s eyes.

A gasp left his lips, when their eyes met again and he could see deep inside them how broken they were and how clear tears made Lando’s view blurry. Slowly the young Brit finally shook his head, before he tried to say “No, you haven’t. It’s just..”

Sacha got the urge to touch his friend, touch his arm or maybe even his hand. But finally the young Argentine did decide against it, he didn’t know if Lando wanted the closeness, so he kept quiet and waited all patiently for his friend to go on.

“Actually I have never really talked with anyone about it.” Insecure Lando bit down onto his lip, while he tried to avoid Sacha’s gaze and he searched desperately for the right words. “Lando.” The young Argentine whispered gently. He really didn’t want to push him to tell him whatever made him feel this way, but he also had the feeling about that maybe talking about it could help him.

The young Brit’s lips were trembling, but when he finally looked back into Sacha’s eyes, he probably gave him some strength and he was finally able to say it out loud “My parents and I had a car accident about three years ago. They haven’t made it. They are gone.”

Sacha had expected with much, but not with this. He was in shock, couldn’t believe what he had just heard, but it made sense. That was the reason why Lando’s older brother always made him his snacks for school, why his friend did react like he had, when he had asked him about it and why he had never told him about his family before.

It was horrible, simply horrible and Sacha was so sorry about that something like this had happened to his lovely friend. No one deserved something like that, especially not Lando.

Sacha could tell that Lando had a fight with himself, he tried to swallow his already present tears and the knot in his throat away, but in the end the tears seemed to win that fight. “Lando, I.. I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.” This time it was Lando, who did search for his friends eyes and he forced himself to kind of smile at him to show his thankfulness about his words, but in the end he still failed.

Sacha couldn’t see his friend, the broken soul right in front of him like that any more, so he asked him all carefully “Can I hug you?” Even before Lando did nod his head in response, he already broke down right in front of Sacha and fell into his arms, when the first tears fell over the edge of his eyes and his face did start to cramp.

Quickly Sacha wrapped his arms softly around his friend and pulled him carefully closer, till his head did rest against his shoulder and his body started to shake under his tears. Sacha felt so sorry for him, if he had known, he would have never asked of course. He didn’t want to make him sad and think about his lost, but now he had to hold him close, soothe him and stay next to his side, till he will have calmed down.

Sacha didn’t bother about that Lando was crying into his shirt, he let him cry out and gave him all the time he needed. Even after his sobs weren’t that deep and heartbreaking any more, he kept on holding him and stroked his hand in a soothing way over his back.

Lando finally apologized for crying into his shirt and that he had to see this, but Sacha only told him it was alright and nothing he had to be sorry for. Lando kept his head leaned against the young Argentine’s shoulder for some more, while they both just sat there in silent and listened to each other breathings.

Sacha was actually surprised, when he heard his friend’s voice again, when he whispered with a shaking voice “I have never told anyone about it before, because in my school everyone had heard about it. I never had to tell it anyone because everyone already knew. First I also didn’t want to tell you about them, not because I don’t trust you, but I didn’t want you to see me different. I like you, but I didn’t want you to only like me back because you have pity with me.”

“Lando, I’m really truly sorry about what has happened to your parents, but I still want to be your friend. Not because that, but because I also really like you. We are so similar in so many ways and I feel so comfortable whenever you are around, I just enjoy your company. I like to laugh with you and talk with you about computer games for hours. I have found a great friend in you and you really don’t have to worry about that, really. You can count on me.”

“Thank you, Sash. You are a great friend as well and I’m happy you are staying and won’t leave me.” Lando told him sincerely, after he had pulled away from their embrace to look right into his friend’s eyes. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you. You are my friend.”

Maybe Sacha was right about that talking about it did help Lando or at least made him feel a little better, because he finally told his friend everything about the accident. About that his parents had already died at the same day, while he was in artificial deep sleep for days. He also told him about that he had almost died right in his brother’s arms.

He told him about Carlos, about how strong he was all the time and that he always only wanted his best, especially when he had laid to him about that their parents were alright. Lando explained how he had felt, when he had got told about that his parents were dead.

The young Brit went on with telling him about their funeral, the time in the hospital and when he was finally allowed to go home. He described about how he had felt all the same, how empty and lifeless, like he was dead as well.

Lando told him about the endless pain, about his injures, the reason why he couldn’t really join his class mates at sports any more, why he had to give up playing football, why he had to repeat class, why he had lost his old friends.

He also told him what he had done to his brother over such a long time and how Nico had finally opened him the eyes and he tried to be better since then. Sacha had never heard such a story before, not even in movies. He had goose bumps the whole time long and he also couldn’t stop his own tears, especially when his friend told him the story about when his older brother had told him that it would be okay, if he wanted to be by their parents.

In the end, Lando and Sacha had to comfort each other, because they were both crying and sobbing now. “But I still have Carlos. I could have never asked for a better older brother. He is perfect and does so much for me. I won’t ever be able to pay that back to him after all the things he has already done for me. Without him I wouldn’t have made it so far.”

It was already pretty late, when they had finally calmed down again, when their tears had dried and their lips slowly formed little smiles again. When Carlos asked Sacha if he wanted to stay for dinner, the young Argentine could only agree to it. He loved this family, their cohesion was admirable and Sacha also wanted to get to know Nico, after Carlos had told him his boyfriend would join them.

Since that afternoon, Lando and Sacha were inseparable. They did spend every possible minute together and they had formed a deep bond between them over the last months. Till now the young Argentine felt touched about that he was the first one Lando had told about his parents and whenever his friend needed to talk about them, he did listen to him patiently.

One day the young Brit had even showed his friend his parent’s grave. Sacha had put some sunflowers next to their headstone, before he went back to his friend to take his hand and let him lean against his shoulder.

Together the two young men went outside, went cycling, swimming and Sacha even brought Lando to play football again, for his older brother’s delight. With Nico and Carlos together, they often played football in their garden after school.

Sacha did also sleep almost every weekend over at their place. Carlos always said that he was already part of their family and it was almost strange to see Lando alone, without him.

The first time Sacha had slept over by his friend, they were playing video games until way over midnight, before they finally went to bed. The young Argentine was sleeping on a mattress right next to his friend’s bed, when he suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, because Lando was whining next to him.

“Lando? What’s wrong?” Sacha asked all worriedly, he had never seen his friend like that before. The young Brit was still asleep, while he moved around, whimpered and his face looked pain destroyed. But Lando didn’t wake up by his words, instead his movements got even quicker, his whimpers louder, he began to sweat and to fight something Sacha couldn’t see.

He was overwhelmed with the situation, he didn’t know what to do. Sacha had just wanted to get Carlos, who had heard his little brother in the second he had started to whine, because his ears were already trained to that sound, but Nico had held him back, telling him that Sacha was there and will take care of Lando.

And so the young Argentine did, when he caught his friend’s hands, squeezed them lightly and said all calmly “Lando. Wake up, you are only dreaming.” But only when Sacha did frame his sweated face with his right hand and gently stroked his cheek, Lando finally woke up by the touch.

“It’s okay. It was just a dream, Lando. You are safe. Come here, let me help you to sit up.” Lando’s body was still stiff in shock, his eyes painfully widened and his face was all pale. “Here, drink.” Sacha offered him the glass of water, after he had quickly opened the window for some fresh air.

Even after Lando had emptied the glass, he still didn’t feel any better at all. Softly Sacha stroked over his trembling back, while he tried to calm down. “You were dreaming about the accident, right?” The young Argentine finally asked into the darkness and got a node in response back.

Sacha stayed right next to his friend, till the tension had left Lando’s body and he began to tremble. He helped him to lay back down again and wrapped him tightly into the duvets. Also Sacha himself laid back onto his mattress, but he listened carefully to his friend’s breathing all the time. He had wanted to wake him up in the second he would have a nightmare again, but Lando’s unsteady breathing told Sacha that he won’t fall asleep any time soon again.

When he could see Lando’s hand hanging down, trying to reach for him, he quickly took it, squeezed it lightly and stroked with his thumb over the back of his hand. They were laying like that for some time, while Sacha tried to warm up his friend’s cold hand, but the second he could hear Lando crying quietly, Sacha got instantly onto his knees next to the bed.

Lando’s body was still shaking wildly, even under the thick duvet, tears were falling down his cheeks like little rivers and Sacha had never seen him so helpless before. Gently he stroked with his warm hand over his cheek, hating it so much to see his friend like that.

“Do you want me to get Carlos?” Sacha finally asked, after he had got to the decision, that he was probably not able to help him. But to his surprise, his friend pleaded him “No. Please, don’t go away.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t go anywhere.” The young Argentine secured him, trying to calm him down so, while he kept on whipping the clear tears away from his cute face. Without hesitant, Sacha finally crawled under Lando’s bedsheets and laid himself right next to him to finally take him into his arms and warm him up.

His friend was crying quietly on top of his chest, the shock still deep inside his bones. Sacha really wished he could have pretended him from his nightmare, to be able to pretend him from the accident at the first place, but all he could do now was holding him close, stroking his trembling body and whisper into his ear that everything will be good again.

And so did Sacha, the whole night long. The next morning Carlos carefully opened the door to his little brother’s room a split, so he could peek inside it. The view he got warmed up his heart from the bottom to the top, when he saw Lando and Sacha all cuddled up in one bed.

His younger brother had his hand buried deep inside his friend’s dark blond hair, like he was always doing when he was scared and nervous. But he only did so by people he really trusted and for Carlos it was more than just touching, that Lando did trust Sacha that much.

Since a few weeks something had changed between Lando and Sacha, something good. The young Argentine could exactly feel it and he was sure his friend did as well. Whenever the Brit was looking at him, their eyes couldn’t let go from one another any more, whenever Lando was smiling that one bright, cheeky smile at him Sacha could feel butterflies flying inside his belly, whenever he was touching him, his whole body began to tingle and he didn’t get enough of this feeling.

Sacha was sure, he was in love with his best friend and he knew Lando did feel the same, but the young Brit just seemed a little too shy to make the first step. The Argentine had waited already for weeks, had signalled him more than once that he was feeling the same and there had been already enough moments, where they could have kissed, but Lando was simply too unsure for that.

So Sacha took it into his own hands, after they had got into a thunderstorm one afternoon. They were hiding with their bikes under a tree and were already sucked wet to their underwear. But still they were giggling about the stupid situation they had got themselves into.

Lando was giving him one of his best cheekiest smiles once again and then Sacha just couldn’t resist any more, when his smile slowly faded away and his eyes were spellbound to his friend’s so perfect formed lips for some moments, before his eyes snapped up at his emerald green once.

Carefully Sacha got closer to his friend, he still wanted to give him a chance to pull away, if he had maybe read all the signs wrong the whole time long, but that just couldn’t be. Sacha wanted Lando and Lando wanted him, it was written in the middle of his beautiful eyes. And he could also exactly feel it.

Rain drops were running down their faces like little rivers, while Sacha closed the distance more and more between them. Their hearts were beating loudly against their rips, louder than the thunders around them. Wet hair strains were sticking to their foreheads, rain drops were hanging onto their whimpers and Lando’s lips looked so kissable.

The young Brit didn’t pull away, he stayed right where he was and waited for his friend to finally cover his lips. And the second Sacha finally did, was so much better than both of them had ever dreamed about.

First shy their lips were only touching, while they still looked deep into each other’s eyes, but when Lando pressed his lips more firmly against his, Sacha closed his eyes and framed his friend’s face to pull him closer, to deepen their kiss.

They were kissing under the tree in the middle of a thunderstorm, till they couldn’t tell any more if the drops on their cheeks were rain- or teardrops. Their hearts were swollen of happiness, their lips warm and the goose bumps on their skin were definitely not from the now cooler breeze.

“I love you.” Lando finally whispered against his friend’s nose, after they had to pull away when breathing became a problem. “I know. I love you too. More than anything else on this world.” Sacha whispered in response, before they hugged tight, watched the world around them and inhaled the clear, fresh air.

When they had finally made it home somehow, Lando had hugged his older brother instantly and whispered something with tears in his eyes into his ear. Carlos began to shine instantly and looked from his younger brother to where Sacha was standing. After the older one had whispered something in response into Lando’s ear, they hugged one more time, before Carlos got over and also hugged Sacha.

Also Nico was overjoyed, when he heard about the news and the young Argentine got to know that they had known about Lando’s feeling towards him since a longer time and they were so happy for them to finally be together, because in their eyes they were simply perfect for each other.

In the summer the four of them made holidays on Mallorca. They had such a great, funny time together there and when Nico told them his secret about that he wanted to ask Carlos if he wanted to marry him, they both already knew right then this holiday will be unforgettable.

They were doing their daily evening walk along the beach, when they found this old boardwalk. They did watch the sunset from there and when Nico and Lando looked at each other and the German nodded his head, the younger one nudged his boyfriend and Sacha instantly knew that now the moment had come.

Like they had planned it, the two were distracting Carlos, while Nico made himself ready, got the little box out of his pocket and got onto his knees, while Carlos took a photo from Lando and Sacha.

The second he had given the phone back to his brother and had turned around to his boyfriend, Carlos was deeply surprised. His body was frozen, while he stared with widened eyes at Nico. Tears were already waving in his eyes and his lower lips was shaking, even before the German had said even one word.

But Nico seemed also very surprised and touched about his boyfriend’s reaction, that he couldn’t bring one word over his lips, even when he had planned to tell Carlos why he did love him with his whole heart and why wanted to spend the rest of his life with him together.

But even when Nico wasn’t able to tell his boyfriend his feelings, Carlos still understood and even without asking him that one question he wildly nodded his head and whimpered overwhelmed “Yes. A thousand times yes.”

Latest when they crashed together and hold onto each other tightly, Lando and Sacha also had to cry, while they were blessed to watch this moment. Nico had wanted them to be there, to join this moment with them, because they were all family and he did also love them with his whole heart.

Carlos’ hand was shaking wildly, when Nico finally pulled the ring over his finger and after they had kissed for the first time being engaged, they pulled Lando and Sacha closer and right into their embrace.

Maybe after all these feelings and the romantic in the air, Lando and Sacha had their first time that night. Sure they had already touched each other before, but till now they hadn’t been that close.

When Lando had found the bottle of lube in his bag, he was first shocked about that his older brother had packed it into it. Sacha only smiled about it, because Carlos had only meant it good, just in case. The two younger once didn’t talk about it with Carlos and Nico, but in that night Lando was more than just relieved to have such a caring older brother.

He won’t ever forget the moment he had entered Sacha, his expression, the feeling, when they were finally once for the first time. It was the most emotional experience they both ever had in their lives so far.

To know that nothing could bring them apart right now was the best feeling ever. They were once, they were together, they were loved. Tears were falling down their faces, because the feeling was so overwhelming.

They came at the same time, when Lando had whispered all breathless against his lips that he did love him to the moon and back. While Sacha was laying in his boyfriend’s arms all dreamily and feeling feather-light, he just couldn’t believe that this life here was his.

He had maybe left his old home, his childhood friends and family back, but he had found a new home, new friends and overall a new family here so far away from Argentine. And with the support of Nico and Carlos and the love Lando was giving him, Sacha knew they would get through everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have planned one more chapter for this story - I hope I can upload it soon! :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


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